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2014 In a Nutshell

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     The Russians won Lord of the Rings. Chris Brown beat up Rihanna in Ferguson, MI and the protestants marched up there to stop him from releasing new songs about loyalty. ISIS performed a coup d'etat on Archer, but he preferred haircuts from Supercuts the best. Mexican riots started after the Mexican government handed over protestants to the drug cartels. The poop said that gays should be treated equally and gave clemency to All Dogs go to Heaven. More riots in Hong Kong, China after the citizens disapproved of unfair erections. The US president wanted fruit-pickers to be here legally for at least six months before being deported and didn't mind going over Speaker Boehner's microphone to allow it. Kim Jung Un had an interview with Sony Pictures Entertainment, but he didn't get the job. There was some mid-term elections, but no one studied so everyone got an F. The Russian army decided to go on vacation in Ukraine and weren't charged an extra baggage fee for bringing tanks along. Ebola was an excuse for news programs everywhere to tell us we were going to die. The new 24 hour news format made sleeping especially difficult. First Spacecraft landed on a comet. We all discovered the secret to space flight was not being a virgin. Malaysia Airlines had 2 planes go down. Still a better flight experience than Southwest. A typhoon in Philippines caused massive damage. This shows God is still pissed about that apple. Perhaps he should read the bible and learn to forgive.

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