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Two Teef

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     You got your hot girlfriend and that guy from Weezer has his hash pipe.
     I say nay. The coolest chick I ever met wasn't hot, or smart, or even sane. I remember the night specifically. The club closed and I needed a ride home. All taxis busy I asked average Joe's for special taxi rides. She just happened to be right in front of me.
     She must have had about two teeth total. And let me tell you, women with missing teeth get excited over anything. I mean anything! I paid her $5 to drive me like ten miles and she was jumping up and down, dancing, and clapping her hands like O.J. Simpson at his acquittal.
     On the drive home she treated herself to a beer and a cigarette listening to some rapper spitting rhymes about gold and women. This was when things got a little bit crazy. Two teef wasn't so cool anymore. Turns out she was a Puerto Rican stripper on her night off. Great, I think to myself. This explains everything except I don't think she got tipped very well by the look of her.
     Despite all of this, she convinced me to "check out" this cool spot. I figured either a bunch of thugs were going to kill me for my wallet or she was picking up crack. It was neither. Turns out it was some hook up spot for locals. Drunk myself I didn't mind. However the two couples already did mind.
     "How about you bugger the fuck off." One of the guys said.
     "Watsup bitch. You fucking with my man." The stripper said. One of the girls looked at her. "what mother fucker? You want some?"
     Immediately the guys freaked out and gave us a couple of beers for the road. She drank them both. Five miles later I escaped her vehicle saying I lived in the back of the gas station and then paid a kid ten bucks for his tricycle to ride home.

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