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Three Weeks Before [*]

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     This story takes place three weeks before the Virginia Tech shooting. Everyone is familiar with the killing spree of the sheltered and psychotic maniac, but few are familiar with the event that took place shortly before the spree.
     The killer approached a university cafeteria with intentions to murder. It was here he was going to show the nation his sorrow. Getting laid was not exactly easy and bottles of hand-lotion can add up. But where should he begin? In that small room, he thought, then I will shoot the rest next. He wiggled the door knob.
     "It's locked," said a cheery kid silhouetted by his laptop.
     "I'm a deranged killer. I need to shoot up this room full of people."
     "Well, first, you won't be able to do that without the key and second, that room is the poetry club and they will probably tell you in a half-assed manner of poetic melancholy that you cannot kill them, but that they are already dead."
     "Okay, man. Where's the professors? I'll start with them."
     "Please don't kill the professors. Some of them are nearly complete in discovering a new level of nanotechnology and genetic engineering. Even the professors I like the least have families and I shouldn't have to explain to you the social barriers a child must face growing up in a fatherless family."
     "Fuck man. I'm a deranged killer; I need to shoot something." He pointed his gun at the student, stretching his sweatshirt with the pistol.
     "I have a better idea," proposed the student. "Why not try a technical school? There are plenty of bums and losers there."










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