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A Bank Loan [IMG]

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     Jimmy sat down at a nice red comfortable chair in front of the loan officer. It was one of those old fashioned chairs that didn't have wheels and wasn't adjustable in height. The bank officer sat behind a desk in a small room that had no windows. He initiated the conversation.
     "Please, Mr. Lores, explain to me your idea for a new store."
     "Well, it's quite simple. These are tough economic times that are hard on everyone. I tried to think of a new original idea that people wouldn't mind buying even in these circumstances. No one has tried to make a fortune off suicide before me. I could sell rope for a knoose, a toaster for a sparky bathtub death, knives to slit wrists, and guns to do it the quick way or maybe for a game of Russian roulette. Of course I will include poison which is a lesser known suicide method, but after a little research I found that this method is most popular after hangings."
     Jimmy handed the loan officer a graph.
     "These are the statistics in the past ten years of suicide rates among Americans. The most recent year is a few years back because these autopsies take time. Fortunately, suicides have rised recently because of the economic situation. As I'm sure you know suicide declines during times of war, but I am going to donate a portion of profits to anti-war campaigns and hippie movements. Hopefully with this and the new emo fad suicide rates will begin to spike again."
     "Mr. Lore have you calculated all the costs of shipping supplies and mortgage payments?"
     "Yes, that's been accounted for as well as other expenditures." The bank loan officer was still looking at the graphs. "More men tend to kill themselves than women so I am going to have sports television on during business hours. The location of the store is right next to a very successful divorce attorney office so I predict I will be getting a lot of customers from there."
     "Mr. Lore have you estimated what your profits will be during the first fiscal year?"
     Jimmy handed him another sheet. "This shows all estimated earnings minus expenditures."
     "Well you've done an outstanding job. I see no reason not to approve this loan. Congratulations Mr. Lores!"
     A large smile burst across Jimmy's face and they both shook hands. Then the loan officer stamped the paperwork.

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