Larry Lacross sat down in his reclining chair during a hot afternoon in southern California. He was only 32, but looked much older from hard work and stress and an improper diet consisting heavily of meat and lacking in nutrients like vegetables or milk. He smoked, despite the large health risks associated with it and his hair was messy and stood up from never combing it. He looked asleep but he was wide awake. His 16 year old daughter just got home from school and sat on the couch with a gloomy look on her face.
"Daddy I'm depressed. My first boyfriend just broke up with me and I don't know what to do."
"Go find another one. Plenty of boys in the world."
"But I loved this one and he loved me and everything that made sense to me in this world is confusing now. I think I'm going to kill myself."
"Nonsense. You'll pull through. I asked out half the girls in this town before I met your mother."
"I don't want it to be like that though. I need to be put on medication. Will you pay for therapy at school for me so I can get the help I need."
"Baby I can't afford that and you're not depressed. Plenty of people go through these relationship problems all the time."
Larry adjusted himself in the chair. Without realizing it would affect the conversation he farted. It was a long fart that lasted awhile and his daughter had completely turned her head to look at him before he finished. "That felt good," he said.
"Daddy! You're not even listening to me. You don't love me."
"That's not true. I love you."
"You don't love me. I have a problem and you're not even helping. If you didn't want me you shouldn't have had me."
"Well sorry, but I was pretty horny when I met your mom and I forgot that when you have sex there's a chance for a baby and condoms were about $3 and that's money I could have used towards pot or alcohol."
His daughter started crying uncontrollably on the couch and put her hands on her face. She cried often over many different things and it was pretty typical to see her like this.
"Dangit Penelope this depression stuff is just bulljunk those psychologists just tell you so they can make some money. Scientologists don't believe in psychology and Tom Cruise is making millions. So what if John Travolta neglected his child which probably led to his death I still don't think half these diseases are even real. When I was growing up if I complained about how poor or ugly I was my father would pimp slap me. Then he'd make fun of me and tell his friends that he pimp slapped me and laugh at me. I ate a bagel today without any cream cheese you don't hear me complaining. Your mother hasn't even had sex with me in years and I had to spend all your college money to buy prostitutes but you don't hear me complaining. This is something you need to get over without pills and stuff. I'll help you through it baby just give me a chance."