Mayor East sat pondering on his golden toilet. Lately, in the local newspaper there had been outright citizen anger towards him for requesting more money in office. "Hypocrites," he muttered. "Henry hand me my jacket made out of hundred dollar bills."
Henry slipped his jacket on for him and lit his cigar. Mayor East looked at the toilet paper sadly, a long time ago he could freely go out and toilet paper his friends house, literally leaving them hours to clean it up. Now, paranoid and fearing for burglars they all equipped their homes with state-of-the-art security equipment meaning he could no longer egg, toilet paper, spray paint, whip cream, or put cement on their lawn.
He walked to his round table, which was convienently shaped to hold a large amount of round table pizza. His secretary ran quickly over to him, but fell flat on her face, tripping on the heel of her high-heeled shoe. Mayor East glanced over. "You alright?"
"Yes, I'll be fine. Mayor East there is an emergency. The deficit is growing very large and cities we are indebted to are threatening to send gang and mafia members over to reimburse them."
"Geez. That doesn't sound very good," the mayor said. "Alright I want you all to sit down and think about this with me, three or four heads are better than one."
There was a large moment of silence as they all thought. "Perhaps," Henry the butler said, "we could simply pay them off?"
"Don't be a damn fool. That's exactly what they want us to do. We need to create income and then possibly pay them off."
Another moment of silence. "We could tell them where we hid the gold when we decided to bury a bunch of treasure in hopes of pirates returning so we could scare the hell out of this new generation of brats."
"That won't work. I lost the maps. Probably should have kept those. That would help. Anyways, I've been thinking. Is everyone cool with bringing gladiator arenas back like in Roman times? Maybe create a little revenue."
"If you don't mind, sir."
"I mind," replied the mayor. Henry sighed. "Doesn't that sound a bit barbaric?"
"That's not what your mom said."
Henry the butler and the mayor's secretary picked up and left. The mayor put on his cowboy hat. "It's getting crunk in here. Aww, skeet skeet skeet."