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Marshall Mathers Pronounced Dead

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November 24th, 2009 - Marshall Mathers (also known as Eminem) was pronounced dead today in a drive by shooting. "It was allegedly gang related," says Detroit police chief. Marshall Mathers, popular for his gay-bashing drug and murder ballads was pronounced dead after 5 shots to the chest where he bled to death. Computer scientists looked on his personal computer for clues to his homicide, but instead found an enormous archive of gay porn videos. "This is one of the largest archives of gay porn I've ever seen," says top forensic psychologist. "His success in the music industry must have permitted him to buy so much hard drive space to store so many files. Even an out of the closet gay would be jealous of the amount of gay porn he has. It's shocking. You would think otherwise from his gay-bashing music," he said.

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