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Nostradamus' Lost Predictions

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  • Hannibal Lecter died from a bacteria infection after he forgot to cook his meat.
  • George W. Bush, Jr. has an IQ of 210.
  • Creationists have been right the entire time.
  • Dogs can speak they just have nothing to say.
  • Potheads are too stressed out.
  • Barney was colorblind that's why he wasn't infuriated of his pink skin.
  • Plato hated imitators, but he liked actors.
  • In Crime and Punishment 2 Raskolnikov was promoted to superior judge.
  • Mystery keeps his real name private, but his phone number is public to every woman in Los Angeles, California.
  • Chris Farley would have died from heart problems if he came off drugs.
  • Thievery finally becomes the good and selfless career that great storytellers make it out to be and is recommended in school.
  • Klingon replaced Mandarin Chinese as the world's most spoken language in 2012, but the Earth's calderas won't explode.
  • Tom Petty finally writes a good album, but he doesn't release it because he made enough money from his bad albums.
  • Textbooks change cocaine from a downer to an upper and children's grades remain the same.
  • Gangs begin to mimic the recruiting method the U.S. military uses and hires a bunch of recruitors that lie to their candidates.
  • Science merges all of its fields into one big category called Astronomy-and-who-gives-a-terd-about-the-rest.
  • People that profess love is the panacea to all the world's ills move outside of society and retire to hug trees and animals, but are killed by bears.
  • The world's economy collapses and people use gold as a currency, but the rich are too weak to carry bars of gold in their hands so they give it to the poor who use it to bash in the skulls of the rich.
  • 20 new instruments are invented, but most bands will still limit themselves to a bass and drumset.
  • Wikipedia.com confuses the name and careers of famous men and women with ordinary people.
  • The author of this site is offered thousands of dollars for his comics, but refuses, and millions of people still live day by day without browsing through them.
  • Alec Trebek plays as a contestant on Jeopardy and gets every question wrong.

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