MONTAGES OF VARIOUS ANIME APPEARING ON SCREEN
AVATAR FAN (V.O.)
Have you ever imagine an anime being turned into live action?
A friend of mine once told me that anything that is anime should
stay anime. If you think about it, anime characters will look weird
if translated into live-action. Just imagine if Pikachu or Charizard is
turned into live-action. Weird, isn't it? 3 years ago, it was
announced that there is going be a live action Dragonball movie. I
looked at the cast and noticed that Goku casted by WHITE actor. I
repeat...a WHITE actor, meaning Goku is WHITE. Fast forward a
year later, the movie was now called Dragonball Evolution. Now
that's an inappropriate title to introduce new audiences to the
Dragonball franchise. Then the trailer came out later that year. I
gotta you..it looks bad. Reserving my judgment, I decided to see
the movie myself. Then on spring, Dragonball Evolution came out,
and MAN...it's beyond terrible! What can I say more about this? I
don't want to talk about it. If that's a total abomination to the
anime, then you haven't seen the last of it. Another anime was
turned into live-action, and that is all-time favorite Avatar: The Last
Airbender. Like Dragonball Evolution, the lead characters are
WHITE! I tell you...WHITE! As for Zuko, you know what they
made him into. They made Zuko Indian! If I must say, Hollywood is
racist. To make matters worse, the Avatar movie (now titled The Last
Airbender) is directed by this M. Night Shamalamadingdong. Not
only that, he also wrote the script as as producing the movie. Boy..his
movies gets worse after his blockbuster hit The Sixth Sense, and now
he takes charge as the writer, producer, and director of the Avatar
movie. Can he save his career with The Last Airbender or ruined my
beloved TV series. Let's find out.
EXT. - NIGHT
JULY 1, 2010
The camera scrolls down slowly from the night skies to the movie theater, where it's packed with long lines filled die-hard fans of Avatar: The Last Airbender dressed up in costumes of the characters from the series.
EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT
AVATAR FAN (V.O.)
Yep this is the day The Last Airbender releases in theaters. Everyone
is dressed up in costumes to see the movie. And if you notice the guy
dressed up as Aang, that's me. I'm Davis by the way. The guy next to
me is Tai. He dresses as Zuko, his favorite character. And you might
want to pay attention to this fellow. You can't imagine how he reacts
after seeing the movie.
Three years of Avatar on TV and now the movie. What could get any
The trailers look awesome. No way in hell it going to be any worse than
Tai and Davis are now at the box office window.
Two for The Last Airbender.
BOX OFFICE WORKER
Here you go and enjoy the movie.
Tai gets the tickets then storms into the theater with Davis
INT - MOVIE THEATER AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
Tai and Davis find their seats with popcorn and drinks. The showing of The Last Airbender begins on screen, and fans clap their hands with excitement.
This is where the fun begins.
30 minutes later...
Some audiences are falling asleep.
60 minutes later...
The camera turns to the eight year old fan and his dad.
EIGHT YEAR OLD FAN (silently)
Dad...what have they done to this?
EIGHT YEAR OLD FAN'S DAD (silently)
I don't know, but whosever in charge of this movie does
do his homework.
100 minutes later...
As the movie ends, the whole audience throws things and booed at the movie screen.
INT - MOVIE THEATER HALLWAY - NIGHT
The audiences exit the auditorium with disappointment.
FAN # 1
That wasn't a good movie.
You said it!
But at least the effects were decent.
Wow! This makes Dragonball Evolution look like a masterpiece.
Tai and Davis exit the auditorium. Tai stops for a moment and takes a deep breath.
Anyone who hates the movie follow me.
EXT - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Tai and Davis head to Tai's car with devoted Avatar fans behind them. Tai opens the door then takes out a smaller pile of map showing a location of his house, a special meeting place.
Here's the direction to my house. Be there at 7 pm.
EXT - TAI'S HOUSE - NIGHT
1 week later...
INT - TAI's HOUSE (THE KITCHEN) - NIGHT
Tai prepares the drinks for the guest while Davis looks at his watch.
Those folks will be here at any moment.
The door rings. Davis heads to the front door and opens it, only to see the Avatar fans he and Tai met last week.
INT - TAI'S HOUSE (THE LIVING ROOM) - NIGHT
The living room is filled with Avatar fans.
You know why we're here.
You know what those folks did to our favorite characters
and our favorite show. Now it's the time to destroy the
target: M Night Shyamalan.
But Shamalamadingdong lives in Philly.
True but he won't be there. A friend of mine told me that
he'll be staying at the Hollywood Hotel for few weeks. He'll
be dealing with the Paramount executives in planning the
sequels to this junk he delivered to us. This weekend at
midnight, we'll be returning him the favor.
EXT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL - NIGHT
4 days later...
INT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL (FIFTH FLOOR HALLWAY) - NIGHT
M. Night Shyamalan heads to room number 501.
INT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL (ROOM #501) - NIGHT
M. Night Shyamalan goes to bed.
INT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL (LOBBY) - NIGHT
The concierge gets shot by darts. He and everyone got shot by darts were placed against the wall. Davis looks at the lobby desk to see where M. Night Shyamalan lives.
INT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL (ROOM #501) - NIGHT
The doors opens and Fan #7 storms in quietly. After that, he pulls out his straws and blows it, shooting the dart at M Night Shyamalan who is still asleep.
FAN #7 (to his cell phone)
Tai..we found the target.
EXT - CONSTUCTION SITE - MORNING
M. Night Shyamalan woke up, finding himself on the floor all tied up and with noose, which is attached to the crane, around his neck. Then he sees a crowd of people surrounding him.
Where..am...I? What am I doing here? Why am I tied up?
Perhaps you should ask that yourself.
What did I do?
Davis steps up and reads the notes.
M. Night Shyamalan or M. Night Shamalamadingdong,
whatever you want to call him. A filmmaker responsible
for films that gone worse after The Sixth Sense has now
F****** up The Last Airbender. And now he shall hanged
for treason against the Avatar fanbase.
Tai steps up.
Do you have anything to say before we execute you?
I don't know why you guys don't like the movie. I'm trying
to be realistic as I can while making it. I WATCHED the entire
show and know EVERY detail.
White Katara and white Sokka. AND Indian Zuko. Is that
realistic, huh? It looks to me that you don't know ANYTHING
about Avatar. GELMAN...shut his mouth with tape.
Gelman go to M. Night with tape in his hand.
PEOPLE...LET'S GIVE HIM A BUNGEE JUMP!!!!!!
As M. Night tries to speak, Avatar fans pick him up so he can be tossed off the constructed building.
M. Night...it's time for us to return the favor. Folks, let him
Avatar fans toss M. Night off the building.
EXT - LA SKYLINE - MORNING
From across the constructed building M. Night is shown with his head lean forward to his left as the noose (attached to the crane) wrap around his neck.
Well..there you have it. This is why you do not mess
with anime and the Avatar fans.
Avatar: The Last Airbender theme plays.