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The Racebender

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The Racebender

By
Dan Luong


MONTAGES OF VARIOUS ANIME APPEARING ON SCREEN


AVATAR FAN (V.O.)
Have you ever imagine an anime being turned into live action? A friend of mine once told me that anything that is anime should stay anime. If you think about it, anime characters will look weird if translated into live-action. Just imagine if Pikachu or Charizard is turned into live-action. Weird, isn't it? 3 years ago, it was announced that there is going be a live action Dragonball movie. I looked at the cast and noticed that Goku casted by WHITE actor. I repeat...a WHITE actor, meaning Goku is WHITE. Fast forward a year later, the movie was now called Dragonball Evolution. Now that's an inappropriate title to introduce new audiences to the Dragonball franchise. Then the trailer came out later that year. I gotta you..it looks bad. Reserving my judgment, I decided to see the movie myself. Then on spring, Dragonball Evolution came out, and MAN...it's beyond terrible! What can I say more about this? I don't want to talk about it. If that's a total abomination to the anime, then you haven't seen the last of it. Another anime was turned into live-action, and that is all-time favorite Avatar: The Last Airbender. Like Dragonball Evolution, the lead characters are WHITE! I tell you...WHITE! As for Zuko, you know what they made him into. They made Zuko Indian! If I must say, Hollywood is racist. To make matters worse, the Avatar movie (now titled The Last Airbender) is directed by this M. Night Shamalamadingdong. Not only that, he also wrote the script as as producing the movie. Boy..his movies gets worse after his blockbuster hit The Sixth Sense, and now he takes charge as the writer, producer, and director of the Avatar movie. Can he save his career with The Last Airbender or ruined my beloved TV series. Let's find out.


EXT. - NIGHT


JULY 1, 2010


The camera scrolls down slowly from the night skies to the movie theater, where it's packed with long lines filled die-hard fans of Avatar: The Last Airbender dressed up in costumes of the characters from the series.


EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT


AVATAR FAN (V.O.)
Yep this is the day The Last Airbender releases in theaters. Everyone is dressed up in costumes to see the movie. And if you notice the guy dressed up as Aang, that's me. I'm Davis by the way. The guy next to me is Tai. He dresses as Zuko, his favorite character. And you might want to pay attention to this fellow. You can't imagine how he reacts after seeing the movie.


TAI
Three years of Avatar on TV and now the movie. What could get any better?


DAVIS
The trailers look awesome. No way in hell it going to be any worse than Dragonball Evolution


Tai and Davis are now at the box office window.


TAI
Two for The Last Airbender.


BOX OFFICE WORKER
Here you go and enjoy the movie.


Tai gets the tickets then storms into the theater with Davis


TAI
Let's roll.


INT - MOVIE THEATER AUDITORIUM - NIGHT


Tai and Davis find their seats with popcorn and drinks. The showing of The Last Airbender begins on screen, and fans clap their hands with excitement.


TAI
This is where the fun begins.


30 minutes later...


Some audiences are falling asleep.


60 minutes later...


CUT TO:


The camera turns to the eight year old fan and his dad.


EIGHT YEAR OLD FAN (silently)
Dad...what have they done to this?


EIGHT YEAR OLD FAN'S DAD (silently)
I don't know, but whosever in charge of this movie does do his homework.


100 minutes later...


As the movie ends, the whole audience throws things and booed at the movie screen.


INT - MOVIE THEATER HALLWAY - NIGHT


The audiences exit the auditorium with disappointment.


FAN # 1
That wasn't a good movie.

FAN #2
I'll say.

FAN #3
No kidding!

FAN #4
Horrible!

FAN #5
You said it!

FAN #6
But at least the effects were decent.


AVERAGE MOVIEGOER
Wow! This makes Dragonball Evolution look like a masterpiece.

Tai and Davis exit the auditorium. Tai stops for a moment and takes a deep breath.


TAI
Anyone who hates the movie follow me.


EXT - PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Tai and Davis head to Tai's car with devoted Avatar fans behind them. Tai opens the door then takes out a smaller pile of map showing a location of his house, a special meeting place.


TAI
Here's the direction to my house. Be there at 7 pm.


EXT - TAI'S HOUSE - NIGHT
1 week later...

INT - TAI's HOUSE (THE KITCHEN) - NIGHT

Tai prepares the drinks for the guest while Davis looks at his watch.


TAI
Those folks will be here at any moment.


The door rings. Davis heads to the front door and opens it, only to see the Avatar fans he and Tai met last week.


DAVIS
Hello there!


CUT TO:


INT - TAI'S HOUSE (THE LIVING ROOM) - NIGHT


The living room is filled with Avatar fans.


TAI
You know why we're here.


FAN #2
Tell us.


TAI
You know what those folks did to our favorite characters and our favorite show. Now it's the time to destroy the target: M Night Shyamalan.


FAN #1
But Shamalamadingdong lives in Philly.


TAI
True but he won't be there. A friend of mine told me that he'll be staying at the Hollywood Hotel for few weeks. He'll be dealing with the Paramount executives in planning the sequels to this junk he delivered to us. This weekend at midnight, we'll be returning him the favor.


EXT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL - NIGHT

4 days later...

INT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL (FIFTH FLOOR HALLWAY) - NIGHT

M. Night Shyamalan heads to room number 501.

INT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL (ROOM #501) - NIGHT

M. Night Shyamalan goes to bed.

INT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL (LOBBY) - NIGHT

The concierge gets shot by darts. He and everyone got shot by darts were placed against the wall. Davis looks at the lobby desk to see where M. Night Shyamalan lives.

INT - HOLLYWOOD HOTEL (ROOM #501) - NIGHT

The doors opens and Fan #7 storms in quietly. After that, he pulls out his straws and blows it, shooting the dart at M Night Shyamalan who is still asleep.


FAN #7 (to his cell phone)
Tai..we found the target.


TAI (V.O.)
Excellent!


EXT - CONSTUCTION SITE - MORNING

M. Night Shyamalan woke up, finding himself on the floor all tied up and with noose, which is attached to the crane, around his neck. Then he sees a crowd of people surrounding him.


M. NIGHT
Where..am...I? What am I doing here? Why am I tied up?


GELMAN
Perhaps you should ask that yourself.


M. NIGHT
What did I do?


Davis steps up and reads the notes.


DAVIS
M. Night Shyamalan or M. Night Shamalamadingdong, whatever you want to call him. A filmmaker responsible for films that gone worse after The Sixth Sense has now F****** up The Last Airbender. And now he shall hanged for treason against the Avatar fanbase.


Tai steps up.


TAI
Do you have anything to say before we execute you?


M. NIGHT
I don't know why you guys don't like the movie. I'm trying to be realistic as I can while making it. I WATCHED the entire show and know EVERY detail.


TAI
White Katara and white Sokka. AND Indian Zuko. Is that realistic, huh? It looks to me that you don't know ANYTHING about Avatar. GELMAN...shut his mouth with tape.

Gelman go to M. Night with tape in his hand.

M. NIGHT
No wait--


TAI
PEOPLE...LET'S GIVE HIM A BUNGEE JUMP!!!!!!


As M. Night tries to speak, Avatar fans pick him up so he can be tossed off the constructed building.


TAI
M. Night...it's time for us to return the favor. Folks, let him have it.


Avatar fans toss M. Night off the building.


EXT - LA SKYLINE - MORNING

From across the constructed building M. Night is shown with his head lean forward to his left as the noose (attached to the crane) wrap around his neck.


DAVIS (V.O.)
Well..there you have it. This is why you do not mess with anime and the Avatar fans.


THE END

Avatar: The Last Airbender theme plays.












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