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Suicide Hotline

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Hank: Hi. I just lost my job and my girlfriend left me so I'm feeling really down. I've been thinking about killing myself.
Tom Leykis: What do you do for a living?
Hank: I'm a car salesman.
Tom Leykis: And how much money do you make?
Hank: I made $30,000 last year.
Tom Leykis: You make nothing. I make more money than you in a week than you do in a year. The reason your bitch left you is because you're a loser and you don't make enough money.
Hank: What? I thought you were supposed to help me?
Tom Leykis: I had sex with a 23 year old girl last night. All those people who have E.D. need to get out and screw some younger woman.
Hank: You're supposed to be helping me!
Tom Leykis: Listen if you're just going to just keep repeating the same thing I'm going to hang up.
Hank: How did you get hired?
Click. Call ended.

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