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The End of the World

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     An angry mob carrying pitchforks and torches approached the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C. One of the managers rushed downstairs wondering what all the fuss was about. The mob stopped before the huge center and their leader rushed to the entrance. The manager of the science center thrust his arm outward at the leader's chest nearly knocking him down.

     "Stop! What are you doing?"

     "Haven't you heard?" The leader replied. "God is angry at us once again. The fires, stock market downfall, and gay marriage explain everything. His wrath will kill us all if we don't get rid of technology."

     "That is absurd. I'm sure there is a logical explain for all of this."

     "You're wrong!" And with that last statement the leader punched him in the throat and put him down on the ground. He rushed inside the building and the angry mob followed, trampling and killing the manager of the center.

     In two hours flat that angry mob of the two thousand men put the center in ruins and killed security and everyone else who tried to stop them. Astonished outsiders immediately dialed family members and authority, but it was too late. The building had been set ablaze. However, the national guard was sent in full force of tanks, jets, and infantrymen to stop them. Within the next three hours every member of the angry mob had been arrested, or if they resisted, murdered.

     King Bush was sitting down in the oval office. The hours that he wasn't occupied with meetings or deciding if bills should be passed or not he spent playing with his Star Wars Legos. One of his advisors ran in.

     "King," he screamed, out of breath and shaking from his hurrying.

     "What is it, Franklin? Darth Vader is going to make another Deathstar if I can't get Han Solo and Skywalker to team up together and destroy it."

     "My apologies, sir, but we have an emergency."

     "What is it? Has my approval rating dropped again?"

     "No sir. We are in a monarchy so you rule until your death."

     "Good. Now please leave my office."

     His advisor bowed and politely left, closing the door behind him. He burst in only seconds later.

     "Wait! This is really important."

     "Then hurry up and tell me!"

     "Angry mobs have formed throughout the country and Europe destroying technology in universities, laboratories, research centers, and landmarks. The claim that God is angry at man for discovering the worlds' secrets and using them for our gain. Jesse Jackson says AIDS is just the beginning and that God will bring back the plague if we don't destroy everything."

     "This is horrible news. I own an iPod! I need a minute to think about what to do next."

     "We don't have a minute. Mobs are expanding and the national guard is unable to imprison them all fast enough. Many have lost their minds in fanaticism and sacrificed themselves to guard their actions. They are retaliating and attacking our military! We had to bring in the Marines to back up the National Guard. Some platoons have opened fire to protect themselves."

     King Bush rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. There was still stubble on his face since he had been so busy today that he neglected to shave. "I wonder what Dr. Phil would do. Franklin, just wait here I'm going to call Oprah and ask what she would do."

     Bush picked up his Mickey Mouse phone and played with the numbers a bit. "Look at me I'm an important king, Franklin." He burst out laughing.

     "Sir, this is an emergency."

     "Okay, I'm dialing. Don't be such a party pooper." He brought the phone to his ear and began dialing. The connection completed.

     "Bush, why are you calling me right now?"

     "I need some advice. Can you help me out?"

     "May I help you out."

     "Sure, that's why I called."

     "Well, if you're looking to lose some weight without having to do too much work you should cut down on red meat, eat green vegetables, and exercise for about a half hour a day. Sorry, I got to prepare for a show. Thanks and goodbye!"

     The king sat the phone down on the receiver. His advisor had become angry and impatient at the king for his poor decisions making. Still he was bound to his duty and showed respect to the king. "What did she say?"

     "Well I need to start eating more white meat."

     "Anything relevant to the current situation we're in?"

     "Well if you're worried about your health."

     The advisor began grinding his teeth with aggravation. "And the country's health?"

     "Well the outlook is poor."

     "What are your orders, my lord?"

     The king began to pick his nose and brought out a wet yellow booger stuck to his index finger. He ate it and then belched out loud. Franklin was disgusted and looked away, trying desperately to think of pleasant thoughts and remember that he was still his superior. He failed and cringed.

     "Call off our men, Franklin, even modern technology can't compare to the wrath of God. Let them destroy everything. I don't mind crapping in a hole, riding a horse for transport, and using candles."

     There was a short pause and they both looked at the floor.

     Franklin spoke. "What about the advances in medical science? Computers have minimized the amount of work in menial day to day tasks, phones have brought people closer together, and we can broadcast national emergencies over the television."

     "Yes, but Franklin you have forgot about God."

     "Okay, but-"

     "Franklin. Call them off."

     "Yes, sir."

     The advisors girlfriend walked in. "Honey will you pick up some milk after work? We're out."

     "Yea sure. How did you get in?"

     "I just walked right in. Security didn't stop me or anything."

     The king and the advisor looked at each other. Then Franklin faked like he was dialing the admiral of the navy and the general of the army. He then later dialed them and gave them proper orders. The king found out about this and put him on time out.










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