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Typical Martial Arts Salesman

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     "Alright you pansie petal pushers it's time to kick some butt. I'm not some phony McDonald's Karate dojo guru who says he trained 20 Navy SEALS and worked for numerous secret government organizations. I'm the real deal, tried and true through years of being on and off the mat, wrestling with giant, fast men, sparring with them, and getting myself out of heaps out trouble in street fights.

     "First thing I'm going to teach you is the no-nonsense tiger claw. This will stun your opponents so you can beat them to a bloody pulp. In the tough world where you probably are running around from work to the store to restaurants and parties you are going to encounter a few bad guys that are looking to take advantage of you. This isn't the movies folks Batman isn't going to save you. These bad guys are ruthless; they aren't your run of the mill idiot henchmen. At bars you'll have to face the local drunk who tries to start a fight with everyone.

     "For only $200 a package you'll be able to learn all my secret moves that got me in trouble in the military for revealing. That's right folks it's all yours for a low price of $200 for the first package. Hurry up I can't guarantee that they'll be here for long. I already sold a few while writing this article."

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