A man sat down on one of the stools. A bartender came over and took his order. "What will it be?"
The bartender, noticing the man was all alone, came over.
"Oh well my friend just died and I'm sad. He had sex with too many supermodels, got AID's, and died."
A short pause.
"That's why you're sad! I'm wearing a fucking eye patch for jerking off in my eye, I lost my left ball from excessive masturbation, I had to come into work with a broken leg, and I took my only child to the zoo last week where they neglected to tell me that they were experimenting on re-creating dinosaurs from old DNA. A fucking Tyrannosaurus Rex ate my only child! And when I tried to sue them hippies protested because dinosaurs are an endangered species. As if dinosaurs were useful for anything besides eating humans and scaring the fuck out of everyone! I can't even talk to my father without pissing my pants and now I got to worry about this shit. And you're friend died from something cool like too much sex? Boo hoo get the fuck outta my bar!"
The man set down his beer and left for the exit, then turned on his heel. "Not all dinosaurs are carnivores you know. Parasaurolophus, which was one of the loudest dinosaurs that ever roamed the Earth, was an herbivore."