Employer: Sorry, we gave it to this Mexican guy who speaks two languages. Big diverse population here.
Patrick: Hi, I applied to your university a few months ago. Did I get in?
Admissions Dep't: No sorry we have enough white people here. We admitted some Asian minorities with the exact same GPA and SAT scores to be more diverse. Plus Asians are good at math it will build our reputation to add him to our alumni.
Patrick: Actually, that's just a stereotype. I scored in the top 3% for math. I'm probably better at math.
Admissions Dep't: Sorry, we're full. Apply next year. Actually, because of budget cuts we won't be accepting applications for the next 5 years.
Patrick: Hi, I applied for your restaurant yesterday. Did I get accepted?
Employer: Sorry, you're not what we're looking for. Customers like bubbily, airheaded, huge-titted teenage girls, not intelligent and miserable broke ass kids.
Patrick: Hey baby, what's up?
Pat's GF: Sorry, we have to break up. I found a new man. I like black guys now.
Patrick: Oh because black guys are athletic and good at track and basketball?
Pat's GF: No, that's not why.
Patrick: Because it's hip to be a minority now and they run the club scene and music like rap and hip hop?
Pat's GF: No, that's not why.
Patrick: Listen the average black cock is only .5 - 1 inches longer than a white cock. Besides, penis length is an ascribed trait. Consider all the C-'s I've gotten in school. What's going to be better in the long-term, a large member, or a savvy knowledge of mathematics, good vocabulary, and above average problem-solving abilities.
Pat's GF: His dick is 4x longer than yours.
Patrick: What!? That's not even possible! The biggest dick is 13 inches and I know that's all you see in porn, but it's not the average. The average is only 6.5 inches.
Pat's GF: He had a geneticist implant a horse dick gene in his body and his dick is 24 inches long now. Only thing that can get me off.
Patrick: Alright maybe, but is that even safe? If he gets an erection that's like an extra pint of blood his body needs to produce. He puts himself at risk for a stroke by lack of oxygen to the brain. Think of the hospital bills and health costs. Is it worth it?
Pat's GF: Don't worry about it. It works out.
Patrick: The cervix is only 4 inches long is your pussy so loose you can't feel the shit? Try laying off dick for awhile and do some kegels so your cunt can tighten up and your nerves return to normal. Change your lifestyle - try smoking some weed or something instead of saddling up with Tyrone after a stressful day.
Pat's GF: Weed kills brain cells.
Patrick: It's not that bad. Brain cells grow back. Don't believe the dogma in studies. You can change your diet and eat better food instead of that carrot and ranch dressing shit. You can gain a few pounds and still be a masseuse. How hot do you need to be to jerk some guy off? Tell them to use their imagination and give them some magazines to get them hard.
Pat's GF: I'm sorry I made up my mind. I can't change now.
Patrick: Yes, you can. Please!!!
Pat's GF: It's over Pat. Goodbye.
Patrick: Hi, I applied to your casino last week and just following up.
Employer: Sorry, we only hire full-blooded Cherokees in this reservation.
Patrick: Hi, I killed a couple rival gangsters the other day. Am I made yet?
Don Italiano: Are you Sicilian?
Patrick: No, but I have Rosetta Stone Italian.
Don Italiano: Please don't contact us anymore.
Patrick: White power.
KKK: Do you serve allegiance to the Almighty Lord and Jesus Christ, our savior?
Patrick: Well, I'm a firm believer in evolution. I mean perhaps there is a chance for a designer, but that doesn't validate or justify Scripture and religion. Morality is even seen in less developed species so it was around before philosophy and religion.
KKK: Proverbs say that all sinners who live without God are a fool!!!
Patrick: Why do I even try...
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