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Yakkity Yak, Don't Talk back

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     Jimmy rubbed Heather's leg in the back of his fire bird. "Of course I love you baby. Didn't I buy you some fries from Mcdonald's the other day?"

     "Yea I guess so." Her insecurity in their relationship was beginning to show. She didn't mind him bringing other girls to join them in their sexual pleasures or the past couple of times he walked in on her sister while she was showering and didn't bother to mention she wasn't who he thought she was. She didn't even mind that he was a bouncer at a local strip club. He wasn't really a bouncer, but it was an excuse to attend so frequently. He was actually unemployed and not prospecting new condos to live in.

     "Kiss me," she said. He laid a wet one on her.

     "Tell you what, baby. I love you so much I'll even go down on you."

     "Okay." Heather said, so drunk she thought he said he'd take her downtown. Jimmy started slowly, kissing her neck, her breasts, her tummy, tonguing her belly button ring, then massaged her inner thighs. He unzipped her pants and removed her undies. Smiling he went down, then quickly came back up.

     "What's wrong, baby you look like you just saw a ghost." Jimmy might be less frightened if he had saw a ghost, at least it wouldn't smell like tuna. However, Jimmy had a strong heart and undying willpower and decided he would go down. After all, he had been through worse: CS tear gas in the United States Navy boot camp, trash pick up at shore duty stations, his best friend's feet, his mom's meat loaf. It was settled he would do it. He went down for a lick, forcing the closure of his nostrils he smelt nothing. Then he could hold his breath no more and had to take a big whiff. He shot his head up quickly again.

     "Okay, what's wro-" before she could finish he yakked all over the back seat of his car.

     "Sorry," he said.

     "It's ok," she replied. He yakked once more.

Based on a true story.










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